The Tittytwister Affair
by m klindt
Summary: The title says it all. Part of my Lexi series


The Tittytwister Affair

By

M. Klindt

I don't own the MFU characters, but like to use them to play with the ones I've created for entertainment. This is part of my "Lexi" series. Thank you.

Napoleon and Caitlin could hardly contain themselves to even let her into his apartment properly. The minute the door was closed and the electronic locks turned on, he pressed her against the door and started to kiss her lips passionately.

Without skipping a beat, Caitlin continued their lip lock, dropped her purse, and he helped her pull off her snow dusted winter coat. Once she was free of the sleeves, she tossed it uncaringly onto the floor.

"God," Napoleon panted out between kisses and started to pull her to the couch. "I missed you."

"And I you," she said when given a chance to breathe. "Two weeks away from each other is far too long."

They groped, kissed, teased, and loosened their clothes while they neared their target of the brown leather couch. Caitlin shoved him back onto the cushions and started to seductively crawl on top him, never taking her eyes away from his until she straddled his hips and sat up.

"What about dinner," he asked blatantly. "You're supposed to buy me dinner before you have your way with me."

"Screw dinner!" She growled, but thought about what she said when she started to unbutton her top and threw it to the floor. "On second thought, screw me for dinner and you plan what we can do for dessert."

Napoleon laughed heartily caressing her forearms as she started to carefully undo his shirt buttons, remembering that some of them may have explosives in them.

After she pulled him up enough to release his arms from the shirt and dropping it to the floor, Caitlin began to pull up his undershirt to reveal a firm, tan torso.

She smiled with lust and traced her fingers lovingly over his stomach muscles and the bottom of his rib cage. Napoleon was strong and built, but not overly so. His training and job kept him fit and trim.

Caitlin stretched his tee-shirt material up higher, bending down to nibble gently on his right nipple.

"Ah, Napoleon," she said with a startled voice. He opened his eyes from the pleasure he was experiencing to why she had stopped her playful march up his body. "What are these bruises by your nipple? You didn't say you were hurt on the phone. I thought you said it was just surveillance with Illya?"

"What?" Napoleon bent up to look at his chest. He'd almost forgotten it was there. "Oh, that's the mark of a tittytwister. Illya gave it to me."

"What's a tittytwister," she asked pushing him back down on the couch after he tried to pull her down with him and resume their love making, but she wouldn't have none of that.

"It's nothing," Solo sighed, running his hands through his hair and gave up his attempt to distract her. "It's was just Illya's way of getting me back for teasing him and not letting him sleep."

"What did you do?" Caitlin asked suspiciously. "And why would he want to pinch your nipple?"

"It's… well… more than a grab really." Napoleon looked around the room, trying to avoid her angry stare. "It's more of a grab and twisting of a person's nipple, hence, the name tittytwister. My friends and I used to give each other ones all the time growing up. Hell, I even showed Illya how to give a good tittytwister."

"So, it's a juvenile guy thing?" Caitlin uttered with disgust, rolling her eyes, and thought about what he'd said. She drummed her finely manicured fingernails over his chest as she kept him pinned down on the couch. "What did you do to deserve this brightly, purplish-blue tittytwister?"

"Well...," he shrugged and avoided her eye contact again while he started to slightly blush.

"Napoleon," she said in an authoritative voice. "You're not going to get any if you don't answer the question."

"All right," he said and gave up trying to save his pride. "I was bored during my shift of watching the warehouse, thought it was time we should go to breakfast, and went over to wake Illya…"

"That's a little vague." Caitlin said deep in concentration. "I know how he likes to eat, so why did he get upset and twist your nipple?"

"I… well… I tried to wake him up at five o'clock in the morning by lying beside him and rubbing up against him a little suggestively, saying how much I loved him more than my luggage and let's go eat. I really do like my luggage a lot." Napoleon tried not to laugh out while defending his stupid, boyish actions.

"And is that when he did it?" she asked remembering the show Illya put on for her, Napoleon, and her friends about not being gay.

"No," he said softly while he tried to change her focus from what he was saying to his fingers tracing up her arm and pulling one of her bra straps down."

"When then?" she bent over him and lowering down enough for her reddish blond hair to fall forward when she slapped his hand away, before he could start on the other one.

"When he turned over, he nuzzled me, kissed me on mouth, and said 'I love you too.' And if I didn't let him sleep the two more hours owed to him, I'd find out just how much."

"And that's when he gave you that tittytwister," Caitlin said to finally ending the story of his bruised nipple.

"Yes and no," Napoleon said matter-of-factly. "Yes, because I wouldn't let him go back to sleep right away like he wanted and no, because I now owe him one."

"Will you two ever grow up," she seriously asked and then suddenly leaned down and bit Napoleon's other nipple hard enough to leave marks.

"Ow! Hey, what did you do that for?" Napoleon rubbed his chest, looking at her in sheer surprise of her actions. "That really, really hurt. I think that you even drew blood. Why are you always beating me up?"

"I'm just marking my territory." Caitlin said sweetly with a devilish grin on her face. "If Illya can do it so can I, but be warned Mr. Solo, I'll have to have a heart-to-heart talk with that blond nemesis of mine. The same talk I did with Lexi."

"What sort of talk?" Napoleon leaned back on the couch, looked up at her while he absent-mindedly rubbed the tender bite marks.

"That unless it's in the line of duty, Lexi and Illya are strictly off limits for you. I said that you could flirt, tease, kiss, and date other unknown women while I'm not around, but those two…and I can't believe all the nastiness that comes out of their mouths. I don't know how they can kiss each other."

"Well, I guess that I can live with those rules." Napoleon smiled, pulling her close to him. He expertly unhooked her bra and unzipped her skirt. "Now that I'm branded for life, let's not talk about those nasty, swearing Kuryakins' right now and concentrate on what we were doing just a few moments ago."

"Yes Napoleon." Caitlin sighed, nuzzling his neck, while she let him remove the last of her clothes and his. "And if you ever try to wake me up an hour or two before I'm ready with anything other than sex, I'll give a nut twister the likes you've never seen before."

"Yes dear," Napoleon promised quickly and hugged her tight.


End file.
